{"topic":{"id":10524,"title":"奇怪的想法","slug":"topic","categoryId":4,"createdAt":"2024-03-06 04:17:18.207994","bumpedAt":"2024-03-06 05:08:22.627824","views":238,"postsCount":7,"highestPostNumber":7,"likeCount":10,"closed":false,"pinned":false,"pinnedGlobally":false,"pinnedAt":null,"pinnedUntil":null,"isBanner":false,"excerpt":"今天聊天时，有个女生跟我说她有男友了，我第一时刻想到的是：请与我保持距离，非必要不联系，互删吧。请问这是怎么一回事呢？我错了吗？或者说我应该怎么做怎么想才能做到无视呢？我对她没有爱情，只有友情，而她发生了身份的转变使我猝不及防（虽然这与我无关），我有点难以接受，或者说抗拒这样的变化突然发生在我身边。我实在搞不清自己的想法，求助。。欢迎您批判我。。 ps：这个女生上学期和我聊的挺好，关系不错（原先认识有一定基础），一起喝过几次奶茶逛过几…","deletedAt":null,"isAnonymous":false,"category":{"id":4,"name":"谈笑风生","slug":"general","color":"25AAE2"},"author":{"id":1047,"username":"anonymous_coward_old","name":"Anonymous Coward Old","avatarUrl":"/uploads/image/43/32/4332638c11248b8ff07033c11de0759a55205facfbec85e14458245a91991faf.avif"},"tags":[]},"posts":[{"id":25995,"postNumber":1,"raw":"今天聊天时，有个女生跟我说她有男友了，我第一时刻想到的是：请与我保持距离，非必要不联系，互删吧。请问这是怎么一回事呢？我错了吗？或者说我应该怎么做怎么想才能做到无视呢？\r\n我对她没有爱情，只有友情，而她发生了身份的转变使我猝不及防（虽然这与我无关），我有点难以接受，或者说抗拒这样的变化突然发生在我身边。我实在搞不清自己的想法，求助。。欢迎您批判我。。\r\nps：这个女生上学期和我聊的挺好，关系不错（原先认识有一定基础），一起喝过几次奶茶逛过几次校园。我是♂","cooked":"

今天聊天时，有个女生跟我说她有男友了，我第一时刻想到的是：请与我保持距离，非必要不联系，互删吧。请问这是怎么一回事呢？我错了吗？或者说我应该怎么做怎么想才能做到无视呢？
\n我对她没有爱情，只有友情，而她发生了身份的转变使我猝不及防（虽然这与我无关），我有点难以接受，或者说抗拒这样的变化突然发生在我身边。我实在搞不清自己的想法，求助。。欢迎您批判我。。
\nps：这个女生上学期和我聊的挺好，关系不错（原先认识有一定基础），一起喝过几次奶茶逛过几次校园。我是♂

\n","createdAt":"2024-03-06 04:17:18.291292","updatedAt":"2024-03-06 04:17:18.291292","replyToPostNumber":null,"replyCount":0,"likeCount":1,"wordCount":219,"liked":false,"bookmarked":false,"polls":[],"reactions":[{"reaction":"❤️","count":1,"users":[{"id":6205,"username":"uika_winwing","name":null}],"hasReacted":false}],"wiki":false,"version":1,"publicVersion":1,"deletedAt":null,"isAnonymous":false,"user":{"id":1047,"username":"anonymous_coward_old","name":"Anonymous Coward Old","avatarUrl":"/uploads/image/43/32/4332638c11248b8ff07033c11de0759a55205facfbec85e14458245a91991faf.avif","admin":false,"moderator":false,"signatureRaw":null,"signatureCooked":null}},{"id":25996,"postNumber":2,"raw":"性别转换一下，你有个同性朋友有对象了告诉你，你会怎么想","cooked":"

性别转换一下，你有个同性朋友有对象了告诉你，你会怎么想

\n","createdAt":"2024-03-06 04:19:51.157399","updatedAt":"2024-03-06 04:19:51.157399","replyToPostNumber":null,"replyCount":0,"likeCount":0,"wordCount":27,"liked":false,"bookmarked":false,"polls":[],"reactions":[],"wiki":false,"version":1,"publicVersion":1,"deletedAt":null,"isAnonymous":false,"user":{"id":601,"username":"m0rsun","name":null,"avatarUrl":"/uploads/image/37/7f/377f4ae853850691ab959270f01d52509ee07caf808041ddb0ab22488a0e9f85.avif","admin":false,"moderator":true,"signatureRaw":null,"signatureCooked":null}},{"id":25998,"postNumber":3,"raw":"说来也巧，今天恰好也有这样的事发生，我第一时间想到的是：恭喜 xx 终于脱单和让我看看照片\r\n这样的差异可能是因为这个男性朋友与我的亲密度远大于这个女生，我对于这位男性友人非常欣赏非常喜欢，但上大学后不常联系，对于这位女生我则是大学联系较多","cooked":"

说来也巧，今天恰好也有这样的事发生，我第一时间想到的是：恭喜 xx 终于脱单和让我看看照片
\n这样的差异可能是因为这个男性朋友与我的亲密度远大于这个女生，我对于这位男性友人非常欣赏非常喜欢，但上大学后不常联系，对于这位女生我则是大学联系较多

\n","createdAt":"2024-03-06 04:25:39.783696","updatedAt":"2024-03-06 04:25:39.783696","replyToPostNumber":null,"replyCount":1,"likeCount":1,"wordCount":115,"liked":false,"bookmarked":false,"polls":[],"reactions":[{"reaction":"❤️","count":1,"users":[{"id":2913,"username":"kobayashi","name":null}],"hasReacted":false}],"wiki":false,"version":1,"publicVersion":1,"deletedAt":null,"isAnonymous":false,"user":{"id":1047,"username":"anonymous_coward_old","name":"Anonymous Coward Old","avatarUrl":"/uploads/image/43/32/4332638c11248b8ff07033c11de0759a55205facfbec85e14458245a91991faf.avif","admin":false,"moderator":false,"signatureRaw":null,"signatureCooked":null}},{"id":25999,"postNumber":4,"raw":"我感觉有三种可能，第一你喜欢那个女生/对那个女生有占有欲，但是你没发现，第二你对异性之间的边界感比对同性强，第三你觉得每个女性都应该是一个男性的附庸，你觉得不应该接近另一个男性的附庸\n\n先不讨论对错，我觉得给自己确定具体是哪一种很有必要\n\n试试这个问题：如果你有一个确定是女同的朋友，她找了一个对象，你会怎么想？如果是男同呢？(这两个问题有点抽象，想不出来就算了)\n\n哦还有这个：如果你脱单了，会对哪些人私聊说？","cooked":"

我感觉有三种可能，第一你喜欢那个女生/对那个女生有占有欲，但是你没发现，第二你对异性之间的边界感比对同性强，第三你觉得每个女性都应该是一个男性的附庸，你觉得不应该接近另一个男性的附庸

先不讨论对错，我觉得给自己确定具体是哪一种很有必要

试试这个问题：如果你有一个确定是女同的朋友，她找了一个对象，你会怎么想？如果是男同呢？(这两个问题有点抽象，想不出来就算了)

哦还有这个：如果你脱单了，会对哪些人私聊说？

\n","createdAt":"2024-03-06 04:34:11.75456","updatedAt":"2024-03-06 04:34:11.75456","replyToPostNumber":3,"replyCount":0,"likeCount":3,"wordCount":199,"liked":false,"bookmarked":false,"polls":[],"reactions":[{"reaction":"❤️","count":3,"users":[{"id":1047,"username":"anonymous_coward_old","name":"Anonymous Coward Old"},{"id":3273,"username":"anon18815924","name":null},{"id":6205,"username":"uika_winwing","name":null}],"hasReacted":false}],"wiki":false,"version":1,"publicVersion":1,"deletedAt":null,"isAnonymous":false,"user":{"id":601,"username":"m0rsun","name":null,"avatarUrl":"/uploads/image/37/7f/377f4ae853850691ab959270f01d52509ee07caf808041ddb0ab22488a0e9f85.avif","admin":false,"moderator":true,"signatureRaw":null,"signatureCooked":null}},{"id":26001,"postNumber":5,"raw":"\r\n想了想，第一种和第三种都有点吧（1 占 0.3，3 占 0.7），不过肯定不是附庸（这词一出来我都不敢回复了），更多的是我倾向一男一女这样的模式（感情）\r\n如果是男/女同的朋友找到了对象，我只会说祝福😂，原因懂得都懂\r\n如果我找到对象，我十分忌讳提及自己的情况，我只会和我知根知底的人提及（线下可以单杀的），比如前文提到的男性朋友","cooked":"

想了想，第一种和第三种都有点吧（1 占 0.3，3 占 0.7），不过肯定不是附庸（这词一出来我都不敢回复了），更多的是我倾向一男一女这样的模式（感情）
\n如果是男/女同的朋友找到了对象，我只会说祝福😂，原因懂得都懂
\n如果我找到对象，我十分忌讳提及自己的情况，我只会和我知根知底的人提及（线下可以单杀的），比如前文提到的男性朋友

\n","createdAt":"2024-03-06 04:51:23.205161","updatedAt":"2024-03-06 04:51:23.205161","replyToPostNumber":null,"replyCount":1,"likeCount":0,"wordCount":145,"liked":false,"bookmarked":false,"polls":[],"reactions":[],"wiki":false,"version":1,"publicVersion":1,"deletedAt":null,"isAnonymous":false,"user":{"id":1047,"username":"anonymous_coward_old","name":"Anonymous Coward Old","avatarUrl":"/uploads/image/43/32/4332638c11248b8ff07033c11de0759a55205facfbec85e14458245a91991faf.avif","admin":false,"moderator":false,"signatureRaw":null,"signatureCooked":null}},{"id":26003,"postNumber":6,"raw":"是，其实我也觉得附庸这个词有点过 (\n就是说思维模式还是倾向于异性纯友谊是不存在的，所以就算和异性是朋友关系也会考虑一些伴侣模式 (？) 相关的事，比如就算完全不喜欢的异性也会想“如果对方是择偶对象”下会发生的事，但是很快就不会想下去了。很正常，我也会有，社会主流也是这样的\n\n不过既然你知道自己有 0.3 的喜欢/占有欲，那确实应该恭喜一下之后适当远离，放下她吧","cooked":"

是，其实我也觉得附庸这个词有点过 (
\n就是说思维模式还是倾向于异性纯友谊是不存在的，所以就算和异性是朋友关系也会考虑一些伴侣模式 (？) 相关的事，比如就算完全不喜欢的异性也会想“如果对方是择偶对象”下会发生的事，但是很快就不会想下去了。很正常，我也会有，社会主流也是这样的

不过既然你知道自己有 0.3 的喜欢/占有欲，那确实应该恭喜一下之后适当远离，放下她吧

\n","createdAt":"2024-03-06 05:06:10.757879","updatedAt":"2024-03-06 05:06:10.757879","replyToPostNumber":5,"replyCount":0,"likeCount":1,"wordCount":170,"liked":false,"bookmarked":false,"polls":[],"reactions":[{"reaction":"❤️","count":1,"users":[{"id":1047,"username":"anonymous_coward_old","name":"Anonymous Coward Old"}],"hasReacted":false}],"wiki":false,"version":1,"publicVersion":1,"deletedAt":null,"isAnonymous":false,"user":{"id":601,"username":"m0rsun","name":null,"avatarUrl":"/uploads/image/37/7f/377f4ae853850691ab959270f01d52509ee07caf808041ddb0ab22488a0e9f85.avif","admin":false,"moderator":true,"signatureRaw":null,"signatureCooked":null}},{"id":26004,"postNumber":7,"raw":"大多数社会现行一夫一妻制\r\n大多数人对情感和婚姻间差别的认知为 0\r\n以上两点共同造就的某种神话","cooked":"

大多数社会现行一夫一妻制
\n大多数人对情感和婚姻间差别的认知为 0
\n以上两点共同造就的某种神话

\n","createdAt":"2024-03-06 05:08:22.627824","updatedAt":"2024-03-06 05:08:22.627824","replyToPostNumber":null,"replyCount":0,"likeCount":4,"wordCount":43,"liked":false,"bookmarked":false,"polls":[],"reactions":[{"reaction":"❤️","count":4,"users":[{"id":601,"username":"m0rsun","name":null},{"id":1047,"username":"anonymous_coward_old","name":"Anonymous Coward Old"},{"id":2913,"username":"kobayashi","name":null},{"id":6205,"username":"uika_winwing","name":null}],"hasReacted":false}],"wiki":false,"version":1,"publicVersion":1,"deletedAt":null,"isAnonymous":false,"user":{"id":1047,"username":"anonymous_coward_old","name":"Anonymous Coward Old","avatarUrl":"/uploads/image/43/32/4332638c11248b8ff07033c11de0759a55205facfbec85e14458245a91991faf.avif","admin":false,"moderator":false,"signatureRaw":null,"signatureCooked":null}}],"hasMore":false,"lastReadPostNumber":3,"hasUrlPostNumber":true}